PART 3: DREAMS or The Trap, The Dreams and The Balance
Vanz Kerrigan sat in a cell in the brig and said, “You know I am older than I look. With all the cosmetic gene mods I’ve had over the years I look about twenty years younger than I actually am. I could live a lot longer yet and still look good. I have a team of doctors doing research on aging and such. So far they tell me that no matter what the human body eventually breaks down. They theorize that they could extend life up to one hundred and twenty years. They also say that the brain could be preserved even longer. I told them I am not interested in being a brain in a jar.
“I never knew my parents. I was abandoned. Or they were dead. I never did bother to find out. It did not seem to matter where I came from. Only who I was mattered. The systems that existed back then, for orphan and homeless children, they were not very good. I spent most of my childhood on the streets, and on the roads traveling across Europe . I never begged. I talked. I found that if you use the right words you can do anything. You can get people on your side; get them to give you things. Or you can turn them against each other and get them out of your way. I learned a number of different languages. I had to. When I needed something I would find someone willing to share with me. Or I would convince someone to share. Or I would bargain. And when that did not work, I would take. Sometimes I would steal without them knowing I was ever there. Other times I would threaten until they gave me what I needed. And if those things did not work, I would take what I needed by force. I can’t remember how many other homeless kids I beat up and took food from. I never bothered to stay and see if they were still alive after. When I look back I am sure I must have killed some of them.
“I was still just a boy when the war started. Back then the Spectral Horde was just a rumor. There was no concrete evidence yet that they were real. A few deep space exploration ships had disappeared, that was all. It was frightening but it was so very far away.
“I started working as soon as possible. I stopped living like an animal on the streets and entered the ‘real’ world. It was not that much different. It just had nicer clothes and cleaner beds. I talked my way into university. I faked records. I excelled. I got a job with the Solar Fleet.
“Even when I was a boy I knew that the world could be better. I refused to accept that this was the way the world had to be. Things could be better. People could be better. All anyone cared about was money. There were aliens invading the Solar System. There were still orphans all over the world killing each other to survive. And all anyone cared about was their profits. You know what they told me? They said that was just the way the world was. That the world had always been that way and it always would be and that I should just try to get my little piece of the pie while I could. I decided then that if that was the way the world was that I would reject the world. I would destroy the world and remake it. And I did.
“Money does not matter. You know what really matters? Power. Money can’t buy you friends, it can’t buy you love or happiness, but it can buy you power. So I started talking. I earned money. I used that money. I became powerful. When people got in my way I talked and got them on my side. When talking did not work I used money to get them out of my way. When money did not work I had them killed.
“Soon I was CEO of the Solar Fleet and one of the richest most powerful men in the world. I was twenty seven. The first thing I did was establish the Halcyon network. An organization dedicated to taking in the orphans of Europe and feeding and educating them. The world looked at them and saw them as worthless. I used to be one of them. If someone like me could rise up from that, who knew what they could accomplish with the right opportunity. There are Halcyon homes all over the world now.
“You know the African Alliance exists because of me. I took over all the corporations that were warring over Africa . For the first time in centuries there is peace on that continent. And all it took was one man with a vision. I used my influence to help form the Eastern Alliance and Human Enhancement League too. No one else knows about that.
“I had done it. I had reshaped the Earth according to my will. The only thing left to do was defeat the Spectral Horde. I could not talk to the horde. It did not matter how much money I threw at weapons research projects, we were still losing. You know it was my idea to abandon Saturn. I said, ‘this time failure can be an option.’ The idea was to trade space for time. It worked for the Russians when Napolean invaded. Nothing worked against the Spectral Horde. We had a few successful battles. But they always came back stronger and pushed us back. Then we had this ship.
“I did not get into all of this because I wanted to be happy. I did it all because I wanted to have a place I history. The world told me my life was meaningless because I had no family. Because I grew up in the gutter. Well I was determined to give the world one great big fuck you and become the greatest man that ever lived. My name and my face are known by everyone in the world. Now they take notice of me. Now they can’t ignore me or my greatness. I didn’t wait for my time to come. I took it. The world would not give me a place in it so I took it.
“I thought I would find satisfaction. I thought it would be enough. I thought I was the greatest man in the world and with all of this power I would finally know peace. Then you came along.”
Zai, last of the Raath said nothing and continued to listen.
“You were something I could not abide,” said Kerrigan, “you were not someone I could talk into doing what I wanted. You were not someone I could buy off. You were not someone I could kill. I control most of the world but I could not control you. And when things got bad, when the mother of all shit storms hit that was all I could think about. I had my mind back and all I could think was that I had to take this opportunity to get you out of my way. I did not think about what I had done to Anyantha. I did not hesitate when Roweth got in my way to shoot him down. I went to where you were so I could destroy you.
“I have met a lot of men who were so full of ambition and greed they would have let the entire world burn if that’s what it took for them to get what they wanted. I had most of these men killed. Now it turns out I’m no different. I may not desire money and power the way they did. It turns out my vice is control. I could not control you. I was so concerned with it that I ignored what was going on around me. I would have let this entire ship and everyone on it burn if it meant I could wipe you out. That is why I am in this cell now. That is why I am going to stay here. I can’t be trusted anymore than you can to do what is best for this mission. I don’t know what my legacy will be after this. But I refuse to go down in history as the man who almost let the Earth be destroyed because he could not stop thinking about his own desire.”
For the moment Kerrigan did not have anything else to say. Zai, last of the Raath felt compelled to say something back.
“When I was young I questioned why the Raath did what they did,” said Zai, “Why did we conquer? Why did we kill? They told me I was foolish for asking such a thing. The Raath were what they were they told me. I could not accept that. I did as other Raath did. But I always thought, there had to be a better way for us to live.”
“Who knew you and I might have something in common,” said Kerrigan.
Zai went on, “Then one day I met someone who told me there was a better way to live. I killed him. And for the first time in my life I understood what my people were. I understood the evil of what we did. I turned against the ways of my people. I helped other races resist them. I wonder what I might have accomplished. But soon after that the Veggs Morv’tika came and my people were no more.”
“It’s funny isn’t it,” said Kerrigan, “all the excuses we come up with. The ways we find to justify ourselves. Even when deep down we know what we are doing is wrong. We tell ourselves it’s for the greater good. Or that somehow our victims deserved what we did to them. Or we convince ourselves we have been wronged.”
“Do you have many regrets Kerrigan?” asked Zai.
“I can’t honestly say I regret anything I’ve done in my life,” said Kerrigan, “If I had done things differently I would not be who I am. And in case you did not notice I rather like myself. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know the difference between right and wrong. Still there is one thing I wonder about. I knew this girl once. Her name was Gisala Kinderheim. I worked with her father while I was rising in the Solar Fleet hierarchy. She cared about me. I wonder what my life would have been like if I had let myself care about her. But then her father got in my way. She got married years later and had children. She and her husband do well for themselves. What about you Zai? Any regrets?”
“Far too many,” said Zai.
Zai, last of the Raath and Vanz Kerrigan found they had nothing left to say to each other.
No comments:
Post a Comment