“Oh Zai my brother,” he said, “What have I done to you?”
The man in the leather jacket looked directly at them. No he looked directly at Janessa first. Then he looked over Junitha and glanced at Duron and Ryoko.
“Normally I would not interfere like this,” he said, “But I can’t let this happen to Zai. Follow me if you want to get out of here.”
The man in the leather jacket started walking the same way Zai had gone. Junitha followed him. Janessa followed Junitha. Duron chased after Janessa. Ryoko followed them because she could not see any other option.
“Excuse me… uh… sir?” said Duron, “but where are we going and who exactly are you?”
“I am taking you deep inside Zai’s mind so you can free him and your selves from the mind trap,” he said, “as for who I am… that is a really long story. The best way to summarize it is to say that I am he who sought The God Factor. But for now how about you guys just call me D, like the letter.”
“How do we know we can trust you?” said Ryoko, “this could just be another part of the mind trap.”
“The Spectral Horde can’t even perceive my presence,” said D, “you should trust me because the only other thing to do is keep chasing Zai from one fantasy to the next.”
“It’s really you isn’t it,” said Junitha, “You’re more than just a memory. You’re really here.”
“Even if you can get us out,” said Ryoko, “we have no idea how long we have been in here. Who knows what the Spectral Horde is doing to our bodies right now.”
“You are in the realm of the mind,” said D, “the realm of dreams. A lot can happen in here and almost no time passes in the physical world. You’ve hardly been here for any amount of linear time. Those cocky bastards who came to the ship to ‘negotiate’ haven’t even signaled the fleet that it’s okay to approach yet.”
The grassy landscape was gone. They were walking in darkness. In the distance they saw a glow. As they came closer they saw the silhouette of Zai sitting on the ground looking up at all the screens lined up next to and stacked on top of each other in a semi circle. There was a different dream world pictured in each one.
“Raath do not think like humans,” said D, “their brains are capable of processing things much faster and multi-tasking in a way few humans are good at. They are taught to always be thinking of ways to fight, ways to defend, and ways to kill. They analyze everything that could be a possible threat and before anyone else even sets foot in a room they will be prepared for any attack from any potential enemy. They were the deadliest warriors in the universe and now the last of them is trapped here. I have seen people try to persuade Zai with reason or logic. I have seen people try to tempt him with wealth or sex or power. I have seen a lot of people try to kill him. None of it ever even made Zai flinch or doubt or waver. But no one has ever done this to Zai before. No one has ever tried to bribe him with happiness.”
D sat down next to Zai and said, “Why didn’t you tell me about this my friend? I had no idea you were so unhappy. I’ve asked you more than once but you never say anything.”
Zai slowly looked away from the screens at D and said, “You pulled me out of Hell. You gave me a chance to serve A Higher Purpose. I swore that I would serve you. What right do I have to complain? What right do I have to anything after all that I have done?”
“You need to leave here Zai.”
“I know that. But I am so tired. There are so many memories, so many mistakes. There are so many regrets. Look there do you see. He is alive.”
Everyone came a little closer and saw the screen Zai was pointing at. They could see Zai in it. He was among creatures that looked like man sized upright walking raccoons with big orange eyes.
“The Miroff,” said Zai, “it was there that I learned the truth. I met a man there. He was a holy man. I was with my unit. We were scouting the planet to see if it was ripe for invasion. It was their day of worship. The holy man said there was a better way to live. He said we could be forgiven for our evil. My unit laughed at him. I did not laugh. I killed him. For the first time in my life I understood what I was doing was wrong. I killed my own unit. I killed other Raath. The Miroff accepted me. I helped them and others resist the Raath. Then the Veggs Morv’tika came. Then you came. Look do you see it. It can all be better. It can be right.”
Zai slowly turned his gaze back to the screens. D stood up and went back to the others.
“I’ve done all that I can,” said D.
“No you haven’t,” said Janessa, “I know what you are. You are the thing Zai serves aren’t you. If you’re powerful enough to come in here without the Spectral Horde seeing you then you can get us out of here. If you are so high and mighty that you think you have the right to send someone to pass judgment on the whole of humanity then you should be able to manage this.”
“There are rules that even beings of my caliber have to abide,” said D, “and I am seriously pushing them to their limits by being here right now. I have really done all that I can. I can talk to you and bring you here and show you this place in Zai’s mind. But I can’t get him or you out of the mind trap. I can’t risk crossing that line. You are the only one that can draw Zai out of the mind trap. You have to convince him to reject not one but all of these dreams. It is the only way you will get out.”
Janessa was going to tell him that was bullshit but Junitha stopped her and said, “What do we need to do?”
“Just talk to him,” said D.
“I know what to say,” said Ryoko who went straight up to Zai, “this is not who you are Zai. You told me you were just a killer but you are more than that. I have seen you fight. You are a true warrior and you are better than this. Get up and fight.”
Zai waved his hand and calmly said, “Go away.”
Ryoko was sent sliding across the ground back to the others.
“What the fuck was that?” said Junitha.
“Oh damn,” said D, “Zai is starting to exert control in here. Raath are trained to resist telepathic attacks and illusions. They have very strong minds. But this place… The Spectral Horde designed this mind trap well. For the human mind they had to build each dream for each individual based on what little they were able to comprehend about what you want. But the Raath mind is a different story. They didn’t build the dream world for Zai. They let Zai’s mind build the dream for itself. They didn’t try to give him what he wants like they did the rest of you. They let Zai give it to himself. And even if there are flaws, well people don’t like to be reminded of their flaws or problems so they ignore them. And even if you are the sort of person that notices those things, they make you forget. They make it so you forget any doubts, you forget to question anything.”
“Maybe that is the key,” said Duron, “we need Zai to ask questions.”
Duron, Junitha and Ryoko started talking to Zai. They tried to point out what was wrong in the scenarios based on what they knew about Zai. They reminded him he was the last of his people. They told him to remember that he was a warrior who served a master. Zai ignored them. He went from one dream to the next. There was a world where his people were not terrifying warmongers. Instead they were a shining example of strength to the rest of the universe. In another world he was among his own people and they were all singing together a joyful song.
“This isn’t working,” said Junitha.
Somehow Janessa knew nothing they were doing would work. She saw D looking at her. Janessa went to Zai. She sat next to him and did something the others had not. She touched Zai. She put a hand on his shoulder and watched the screens with him. She began to experience the dreams with him. Janessa saw Zai fighting side by side with D against mighty and powerful foes. She saw him winning tournaments of skill. She saw him living in the city of Chicago and walking the streets in the day with sunglasses on.
“Chicago?” she said.
“I lived there once,” said Zai, “long ago. I lived there in secret away from the light. The light of the yellow sun is hard on my people’s eyes. The sun that Zeith revolved around was different. The light was not so bright.”
“Do you really want to stay here Zai?” Janessa asked, “We can’t escape the mind trap without you. Everyone on the Daedlus will die. The Earth will become part of the Veggs Morv’tika’s empire.”
“The Daedlus?” said Zai.
They could see the Daedlus on one of the screens as it flew through the stars.
“The Deadlus,” said Zai, “my personal fighter and this battle suit. They are all that I have left.”
“Why did you name the ship the Daedlus?” asked Janessa.
“I did not name it,” he said, “my friend did.”
He was looking at another dream where he was with D. They were playing chess.
“Raath warships did not have names, they had numbers,” said Zai, “My friend gave it a name. He named it Daedlus. After the man who made wings for himself and his son so they could escape the labyrinth.”
“I thought Icarus might be a bad omen for a ship that flies,” said D.
Janessa looked over at D. She was not sure if this was the right thing to do or not. She turned back to Zai and took his hand.
“I have done so much evil,” said Zai, “I have done so much killing. I killed so many as a Raath warrior. Then I tried to serve the light. I killed for them in the name of the light. Now as a knight I slay the wicked for That Which I Serve. I will never know peace. I do not deserve even the embrace of death.”
“Why do you say that Zai?” said Janessa, “do you really hate yourself that much?”
“I don’t know,” he said, “I never thought of it that way. I have never really felt hatred for anyone, not myself, not even the Veggs Morv’tika. I do not understand hate. My people felt no guilt for the murder they committed. But I did. I am guilty of so much.”
Ryoko and Junitha were tempted to add something, to help. Duron gestured for them to stay back and let Janessa continue.
“There is this old saying in my family,” said Janessa, “it says that no sin is beyond forgiveness.”
“Forgiveness can not come from the dead,” said Zai.
“You’re right it can’t. But we don’t live for the dead. You’re still alive Zai. As long as someone lives there is always a chance they can still be saved. Forgiveness can’t come from the dead but it can come from the living. You can be forgiven Zai.”
Zai looked away from the screens. He looked over at Janessa.
“Who would forgive me for what I have done?” said Zai, “see it, see the evil I have wrought.”
The images on the screens changed from dreams into scenes of carnage and murder. There were battlefields were they saw Zai and other Raath laying waste to enemy alien armies. There were scenes of them finding beings in hiding places and slaughtering them. They saw Zai in the Miroff place of worship killing his own unit, who were so shocked they did not have time to fight back. They saw Zai on Earth. They saw Zai killing people across time. Then they saw the Daedlus but it was different. Instead of being white and silver it was painted black and red. They saw the Daedlus destroying alien ships and firing its weapons from orbit leveling whole cities and civilizations. It did not look like a beacon of hope, it looked… evil.
“Holy shit,” said Junitha, “I knew you were a killer but… oh god…”
Duron looked away. Ryoko looked on in awe of Zai’s efficiency and skill. Seeing the images of Zai killing on Earth something dawned on Janessa and she looked at D and said, “You didn’t make him a knight of anything. He was your friend and you used him as your own personal assassin.”
“When I offered Zai a place at my side,” said D, “It was his choice in what capacity he would serve.”
“I chose to be a killer again,” said Zai, “because that is what I am.”
The screens returned to the images of Zai’s fantasy worlds. Zai did not go back to looking at them. Now he only looked at the ground.
“I don’t accept that,” said Janessa, “I refuse to accept that. Nobody is just defined by one thing. My parents are Hippers. I was born naturally. These things are true about me but I don’t let them be the only thing that defines me no matter how much other people try to tell me they do. I’m also a gymnast and a pilot. And I like cooking my own vegetables that I grow. I am not defined by just one thing about myself. You can’t just define yourself as a killer. You are more than that. Ryoko is right, you are a warrior. I hate violence but when I see you fight, I want to keep watching. And you’re a singer Zai. I heard you singing. Your song moved me.”
Zai looked up at her. There was so much sorrow in those yellow eyes.
“You know what?” she said, “When I first met you Zai, you scared the hell out of me. You still are a little scary. But I am not really afraid of you Zai. There are plenty of things to be afraid of and so far I can’t find a good reason to be afraid of you. You may be a deadly alien warrior but I have not seen you hurt or kill anyone because you enjoyed it.”
“I never enjoyed killing,” said Zai, “but I was always good at it. I was better than anyone. Maybe it was because deep down I knew what it really meant. Do you know how much worse that makes it? I knew it was wrong but I kept going because… because I knew no other way.”
“You know a better way now,” said Janessa, “you serve a higher purpose right?”
“Thank you,” said Zai, “but you can not save me.”
Zai began looking back at the screens.
“I forgive you Zai,” said Janessa.
Zai immediately looked back at her again.
“You killed Raddy,” she said, “You killed him right in front of me because he was trying to hurt me. Maybe I don’t have the right to say this but I am going to say it again anyway. I forgive you Zai. We can all learn to forgive each other. Otherwise we just end up holding onto it all. I’m tired of holding onto it all. You said you were tired of it. I want to let it all go. I forgive you.”
Janessa found her gaze went past Zai and she saw Duron. She found herself saying it again, “I forgive you.”
“I forgive you for breaking my arm,” said Ryoko, “I’d say I forgive you for breaking my knee but I think this scar and the new artificial knee they put in might actually help my image.”
“I forgive you for lying to us,” said Duron.
“You don’t need me to forgive you for anything,” said Junitha, “in fact I feel like I should apologize for not knowing right away that you would do right by us on that whole judgment thing.”
“Please Zai;” said Janessa, “You’re the only one that can save us now.”
Zai got to his feet. He looked over the screens one last time. One of the screens cracked and sparked and the image was gone. Zai began to growl and snarl and howl and roar at the images. Each time another screen would crack and smoke and sparks would fly and another dream would be rejected. One by one they went out. Soon only one remained.
